It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
are you so shy because you have an std?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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