I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
