Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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