Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
