Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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