Non-Jews are for practice
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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