I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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