You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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