Plan B is the new Plan A
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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