am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
