I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize