i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
