remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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