best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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