remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
