The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
