All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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