i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
