No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
