You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
