The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
