Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize