she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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