lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
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Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
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I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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