The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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