he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
