is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
