Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
