I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dear god my vagina.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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