WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
