I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
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Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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