Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
