you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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