Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
