You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
