i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
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Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize