Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
