'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
