So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
