That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i believe in u and ur pee
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
