69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
