i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
