From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize