and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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