I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize