i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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