she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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