we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
