i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
