I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
