So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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