remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
