I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
