I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
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Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
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I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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