"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
