exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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