you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
