she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
