Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
