So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
