all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize