you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
