well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
