you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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