My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm having to shit out rocks
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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