Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
