i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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