if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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