If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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