I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Randomize
