So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
